Top Ten Worst Sex Toys To Give As A Gift
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Butt plug sharing is a no no.
10. Dark Tanning Oil – In the ’70s and ’80s this would have been a perfectly acceptable stocking stuffer. These days, tanning oil without sunscreen is about as politically correct as bacon-wrapped candy cigarettes.
9. Power Sex-Ess – A Subliminal CD that is supposed to help you attract a mate. The recipient will know that you have given up the hope of him finding a mate when you call upon his subconscious mind to get the job done.
8. Penis Rejuvenator Pills – Rejuvenation? Is that really a word you should use to describe male genitalia? What happened to it that it needs rejuvenation? Did it rust from years of misuse? Was it damaged in a pickle cutter? Either way, if you need to restore an old friend, maybe you could shop in private.
7. The Complete Idiot’s Guide To The Kama Sutra – A few years back I bought my Mom The Idiot’s Guide to Retirement Planning and I caught hell for that one. I can’t imagine the wrath I would encounter if I bought my wife The Idiot’s Guide To The Kama Sutra. She would probably put me in the 17th Position of the Ananga Ranga and then leave me there.
6. Perky Panties – Perky Panties is a lingerie wash that contains pheromones. It is useful if you want to attract men directly to your crotch. Sort of puts the Ho in Ho-Ho-Ho.
5. Goodbye Cellulite – Goodbye Cellulite is a lotion that reduces the appearance of cellulite on a woman’s butt. Buy it for your girlfriend and you’ll never see one again.
4. Blood In Stool Test – Happy Holidays! Poop on this test and it will tell you if there are any problems with your innards.
3. Romeo Vibe – It seems that every year there is some type of sex toy that makes its way out to the public. This year, the Romeo vibe was on Oprah. But, just because Miss Winfrey showed it off, doesn’t mean your Aunt Wanda wants to see it.
2. Today Sponge – This little sponge soaked in spermicide only makes a good “stocking stuffer” in the reproductive sense.
1. The My Guy Pillow Case – It’s a guy-shaped pillow-case that has one arm. You are supposed to cuddle with it. I tried it, but all I could think was, “Where is his other arm?” Did my new friend lose it in combat? Or in an industrial accident? Perhaps it was cut off by a pickle cutter?
Tara Fitzgerald Nude Pictures AKA bitchtara
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When a woman's mide-life crisis goes wrong. And you thought zombies were made up.
A California woman, Tara Fitzgerald, AKA bitchtara, called a Dell tech engineer to help her find nude pictures of herself, the enterprising young lad from Mumbai took the pictures for himself and posted them on the internet.
Ok, that’s pretty weird, but what’s even weirder is Tara’s outrage of her nude pics being public. In true internet tradition, every mention of bitchtara and Tara and her online sex life has now had the spotlight shown on it.
From Myspsace videos she made portraying a cracked out zombie princess to hundreds of other postings, this amateur porn celebrity with the moniker “bitchtara” is destined to make “porn I made for my boyfriend but never wanted anyone else to see except the several million folks who use the internet” history.
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The tech support engineer in India, Riyaz Shaikh, stole her pics during a support call and created a website dedicated to this 48 year olf MILF gone bad.
“I trusted him. I trusted him because he was a Dell technician and I don’t like the cyberworld, you’re so vulnerable,” said Fitzgerald.
When age creeps up on you, there is nothing like a good Photoshop filter to set things right.
Tara is no stranger to the online world, and I won’t bore you with the thousand entries out there. Suffice to say she appears to be a webcam model and a Myspace junkie (a cached version of her page here)
Tara’s not shy about who she is, according to her online profile below:
About Me: Have always been a drama queen. Home owner, Single Mom, Work in Hotel Hospitality F & B department since I was 17. Have always been a leader. So that makes me out going, confident, enthusiastic, independent, creative, analytical,strong high level work ethics.
Most of all a team player (EDITOR: This is our favorite – we KNOW what this means! ). I believe in Karma and Angels and plain on Making my money Selling Notes and becoming a middle aged Movie Star.
God Bless Tara.
For more great links and comments on this, check out the Reddit thread here
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